There your heart will be also

Success will test everyone
 If it's not your own it's that of those you're among 
It will sift through your soul like it's panning for gold 
You will see what is left when it's done.

“Ian Randall Thornton – Panning For Gold”

Hello-u. It’s Pete.

I’ve been wondering if after all this time I should write a blog. Please continue reading if you’d like to hear any or all of what I have to say…

I don’t get on well with social media so I’ve turned to this heralded platform of great length, many words and much punctuation. Hope it can bless you.

So, I’m working on an album – it’s gonna be called: There your heart will be also.

To me, making an album feels like being in a valley. I don’t feel aimless, but I do feel like I’m fully living-in and embracing a season of great intensity and journeying without being able to fully see the bigger picture.

It can feel lonely at times; a lot of the process is happening solely in my head, and the constant simmering of ideas makes it difficult to switch off. There’s also a self-inflicted pressure I’m having to contend with – when it’s time to climb up and out of this place, I desperately want to have something to show for it. Whatever happens, I will have an album to present to you all at the end of this. Ten tracks that will say that I either gave my very best or that I half-heartedly churned some songs out because I felt I had to. I don’t want to burn out, but because of how I’m built I can’t help but go all-in, fully comitted. I need to give everything I have in me to make this thing special (not than I’m even sure what ‘special’ means yet).

Reflecting on the EP

Creating my debut EP, Wresting Self, Losing Graciously, was like trying to hit a nail into a brick wall with a toy hammer. It took longer than it needed to and that’s underplaying it. More than anything else, letting those songs go was a huge weight off. I’ve not really listened to it since, and I’ve hugely struggled to promote and talk about it. I’ve wanted to do it justice, if not for me then for the people (namely Stephen Bradley of The Amen Collective) who helped make it happen and pushed it to places/playlists I never dreamed of reaching. The truth is that I lost momentum. I started to forget/ didn’t action the plans I had for making-of music videos, social-media posts etc…I ended up wanting to leave it behind me and never look back.

I’m grateful to everyone who has listened, and still listens to that EP. Although the critic in me sees (and hears) plenty I’d do differently, I can still be proud of the fact that this year I finally became an artist and released my own music. I imagine self-confidence will be a lifelong battle for me, but this was a massive step forward.

Although thematically connected by a difficult season of life, the songs on that EP feel more like singles: attention grabbing, super dynamic, ear-candied and overly journeysome. It really does sound like a producers production – kitchen sink vibes, if you get me!?

Pushing on with a full-length record

Fast forward to late summer this year (’23), and I’m craving something with more space. I want to make something where I can write and produce proper ‘album tracks’. I’m talking about large chunks where you hear a groove just riding out, fading out even! Less-is-more, let the song sing, the vocal is king, we can go for a walk and not climb a mountain (in fact, let’s go for a short walk then straight to a pub… musically speaking, that is). I still want all killer, no filler: I ain’t wasting my time, money, energy etc. on boring music with no hooks. There will be hooks – I’m working with Mr Conall Mulvenna after all, there’s always hooks to be hung with that man. But! I need it to breathe and feel connected, woven and crafted as one cohesive body of work.

I can’t believe it’s mid-November already. All ten tracks are now in progress: a few are sounding close to a semblance of a final(ish) mix, a bunch of the other tracks are shaping up, and many others still make me cringe to listen to because they are so bare-bones it’s painful. Lord, give me grace for midi-drums and guide-vocals. Amen.

The ‘vision’ for this record feels like it’s forming in real-time. As the songs come to life and particularly as lyrics are written, re-drafted and settled on, it’s starting to make more and more sense what this whole thing is about.

What I can say is that it’s loosely inspired by Matthew 6:21 in the Bible: ‘For where your treasure is ,there your heart will be also’. Hence the title and all that…

That verse has been with me forever, and stood as a constant challenge and anchor point. The context to this verse is very important, as is what follows in Jesus’ words regarding money etc…so check it out if you fancy! Bible = a great read. 👍

A wise local vicar called Jon once reminded me that being prophetic isn’t just foretelling or saying “this will happen”. It’s being a voice for what’s happening right now, and being bold enough to call out and stand against the evil that is so prevalent in our world.

I’m talking about the tide of unrestrained capitalism, the destruction of Gods creation, worship of money and possessions, social climbing, our obsession with self, our obsession with being ‘good’ and ‘right’ by human standards, our obsession with our feelings over the truth, our entitlement and desire to ‘live our best lives’ at great cost to the poor and lowest in society…

I want this music to be prophetic. I also want it to be an absolute vibe and extremely enjoyable to listen to. I want it to be sharp.

These are my thoughts, subject to a great deal of change and re-thinking, as of mid-November ’23. Thank you for coming along for the ride.

Nice one. Until next time,

PKYB